The Things I Cannot Understand

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The Things I Cannot Understand
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Season
Episode
07
Airdate
June 1, 2012
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Production code
107
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Written & Directed by
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Uncredited
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"The Things I Cannot Understand" is the 7th episode of Wiksteria Lane.

Summary[edit | edit source]

Renaboss is none too excited about Jdg98's poorly thought-out idea to steal Lynettefan's gun, so he demands that the young man put it back in its place. Meanwhile, Lynette is confused over Lady Junky's intentions in regard to the preparations for their forthcoming wedding.

Plot[edit | edit source]

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We're such ignorants. Every last one of us. The things we know, ah, when compared to what we don't know, what we don't understand in this world... the difference is absurdly enormous. That was something Renaboss was faced with every day since he'd moved to Wiksteria Lane. He had no idea what was going on. There was so much he couldn't figure out. Especially the fact that he had somehow become a major pawn in a big game for which no rules were given. Prior to all of this, he had taken pride in the fact that he was always able to distinguish right from wrong, and always chose right. Now... ah, he doesn't even know anymore. Not even I do.
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Renaboss is shocked beyond belief. Clearly uncomfortable around the revolver Jdg98 is holding in his hands, he says, "What have you done?" "I took his gun. I figured... I don't know, I just saw it and had to take it. I thought maybe we could use it against him if stuff got too... hard for us." "You're saying you want to kill him?!" "He's gonna come after us! You know that! He killed Kimo! He killed Doc! He's gonna kill us too! Unless we..." Rena starts freaking out, "Oh, God, this is... this is too much, I..." Jdg says, "Look, we're not gonna start anything. This is a means of... defense." Rena lashes out at him: "You idiot, you stole his gun! You think he's not gonna notice that? That he's not gonna report it, that you aren't going to pay for that? He could call the Wikia Staff on you, you could be banned from the lane!" Jdg says, "He can't prove it was me, we'll just, we'll just hide the gun somewhere, where it can't be found. And we only use it if we have to." Renaboss takes a moment and then tells him, lowly but fiercely, "You... are going to go back into his house and retrieve the gun to its rightful owner, you idiot child. Without him knowing. Do you understand me?" Jdg doesn't look too happy with this idea. "How am I supposed to do that?" "I don't know."; Rena says, looking angry and disappointed, "Figure it out."

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There was one thing Lynettefan2626 couldn't understand: why was it that, all of a sudden, his fiancée, who had never shown the slightest interest in rushing the preparations for their marriage, was now head over heels wrapped up in them? He had promised to give her everything when he proposed to her. They'd never even dated prior to that. She agreed, and he had assumed the marriage was gonna happen out of convenience for the both of them. Now he was actually under the impression his girlfriend had grown to love him. If he only knew...
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Lynettefan2626 enters the living room of his template, wherein Lady Junky is going through fabric swatches and a bridal catalogue of wedding dresses. He greets her, and she greets him as well, and announces that she's just gotten back from her meeting with the wedding planner, who gave her several books and pictures as well as clothing samples to sort through. Lynette comments that he is beyond ecstatic for their marriage. "I have to admit, sweetheart... the fact that, before all of this started, you had shown little to no interest in making our wedding happen, well, it gave me pause. So you can't imagine my happiness in finding out that you are as excited about it as I am." Lady smiles at him and says, "Of course I'm. I can't wait any time to be married with you." He smiles back at her and says, "I love you." Lady is silent for a full two seconds before she puts on her smile again and says, "I love you too." They kiss, briefly, and Lynette leaves... somewhat unconvinced. Lady closes her eyes and sighs.

Jdg has a meeting with UFO Editor in the latter's template, as he doesn't often get out much, so people have to go to him instead. Jdg explains what happened with the gun, and that he doesn't know what to do. UFO has an idea, he should go back and have a meeting with Lynette, since their previous one was unfinished anyway, and beg for his forgiveness over breaking and entering Kimo's template. Lynette will put on that fake smile of his and forget his offenses to keep from creating a big ruckus in the community, as he likes to stay on the low, and it wouldn't look good for him to send a kid to juvie over a rather harmless offence, and all he has to do then is make up an excuse that allows him to put the gun back in its place, on top of the bed. Hopefully, Lynette hasn't noticed it's gone yet. Jdg says he's gonna try... but he's scared to death of Lynette. "I just know he killed Doc. He must have. And you telling us he did Kimo in too... the guy is a serious, twisted psychopath." UFO tells him he's not gonna harm him in broad daylight. Jdg says he once shoved him against a message wall in the community building, and it was during the day. UFO says, "Well, he snaps sometimes. But he's mostly composed. Besides, I'm sure his girl is at home. That dweeb has no idea that her fiancé's a psycho jerkass. He's not gonna do anything extreme with her under the same roof." "Yeah... but that also means I'm gonna have a harder time being sneaky."

Rena opens his door to find Lady standing in front of him, after having knocked. "I get married," she says abruptly. Rena is confused. "To, to Lynette? Yeah, I know." "Yes, so... but, um, we move up wedding, to summer, not, not autumn, so, we get married soon, not late." Rena is still confused. "And... why are you telling me this?" "Because... I get married. To the man I love. I love him." Rena asks if this is because she kissed him the other night. "No! No kiss! No kisses, I, I, I love my... husband, my fiancé that is husband soon, not late, and he is the only one now who kiss me. Moi. Only him. Not tu." Rena chuckles to her face, arms crossed. "Fine." "Fine." "Okay." "Okay! Yes. Fine, okay." Rena smiles at her, though rather sadly, and says, "I wish you both the very best." Lady, surprised, is hesitant, but says, "Thank you." And then she heads off. From their template, her fiancé watches her cross the street, with a look of suspicion on his face. Rena then notices Jdg getting out of UFO's house and heading towards Lynette's. "Dafuq?" he says.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" Lynette asks, sitting down on his reclining chair, with a smile on his face, as he gazes upon the shaky Jdg. Jdg explains that their meeting was unfinished earlier that day. "Oh, yes, I remember it quite well. You asked to use the bathroom and your... friend, barged into my property and started blurting out horrid things to and about me." Jdg apologizes for Rena's behavior, saying he has an anger problem, and explains that he figured it was only honorable for him to return so they could finish what they started. Lynette comments that this is indeed better... for Jdg, seeing as how he was going to call the officers on him rather than calling him back to another meeting. Jdg gets teary-eyed and begs for forgiveness over breaking into Kimo's house, claiming he only did it for the rush because he's been so bored ever since his best friend on the lane died. Lynette, always with a smile, tells him, "Tell you what: I would hate to let such a young child be put in some sort of facility or be given away to strangers to be cared for, when you apparently like to call this community your home. So I will let you off with a slap on the wrist. Make sure nothing of the sort ever happens again." Jdg thanks him repeatedly, and Lynette tells him to just make sure he doesn't forget the favor he's been given. Jdg says he won't. He then gets up to leave the office and Lynette says, "Good. Keep in mind that I have your back, José." Jdg is shaken. He is stopped cold on his track. He looks behind and asks, "What... what did you say?" Lynette tells him, with a smile, "I said, I have your back, Jdg. Don't forget that." Jdg leaves the office, slowly, scared out of his mind. He passes by the bedroom, door still opened. Apparently no one had even been there yet. The perfect opportunity to plant the gun back in its place, over the bed, from where it was taken. No one's around. But he leaves the gun in his pocket and heads out of the house.

Rena is in UFO's living room, worried sick, after UFO explained to him that Jdg went back to Lynette's house to put the gun back where it belongs. Rena starts decompressing, explaining to him that this is all so much more than what he had bargained for. "I just wanted to... to find a place where I could finally be happy. Unwind, lead a long, boring, routinely suburban life. Help out. It's all I wanted." UFO tells him that's all every one of them wanted. When DoctorStrange founded the community. The two of them and Kimo were gonna make it a perfect little utopia. "Until Lynette came and ruined everything. But now... the three of us, you, me, Jdg, we can... we can make it all better again. I'm tired of hiding out. I'm tired of being depressed. We can fix everything, if we set our minds to it. Maybe others can join us too. Everyone pretty much hates Lynette. We can make a change." Jdg opens the front door and lets himself in.

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Oh, UFO... the things you don't know. A change is gonna come. Absolutely.
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Rena says, "Oh, I'm so relieved. How did it go?" Jdg takes the gun out of his pocket and points it at UFO, whose face mirrors shock. Rena gets up from his seat, "Whoa, whoa, what the fuck are you doing?" Jdg pays him no attention. He's focused solely on UFO, who slowly gets his hands up in the air, extremely shocked.

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But it's not going to be for the better.
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DoctorStrange

Jdg, crying, says, "You told him... You told Lynette, about, about me." UFO is confused. "What?..." "You told him! Only you knew about me! Only you, and Doc. And Doc is dead, you... you told Lynette... you're in cahoots with him!" Rena asks, "Jdg, what is going on?" UFO says he doesn't know what Jdg is talking about, and the boy yells at him, "Tell me the truth! You're in this together, the two of you! You helped him, the two of you killed Doc!!" "No!" UFO says, crying as well, "No, no, of course, I, we, I didn't." Jdg, more calmly, yet decidedly, says, "Yes... yeah, yeah, you did. And now I'm gonna kill you."