Bad Romance

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Bad Romance
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Season
Episode
05
Airdate
June 23, 2012
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Production code
205
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Written & Directed by
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Uncredited
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Archive footage
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"Bad Romance" is the 14th episode of Wiksteria Lane.

Summary[edit | edit source]

Following a shockingly heartbreaking revelation, Lynettefan decides some measures need to be taken to ensure his cheating fiancée, Lady Junky, learns a valuable lesson. Meanwhile, Renaboss starts chemotherapy, following a revealing conversation with Villain fan, and Mary realizes that she misses having sex.

Plot[edit | edit source]

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Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting... and though unwanted... unbidden... it will stir. Open its jaws, and howl... It speaks to us, guides us... Passion rules us all. And we obey... What other choice do we have?
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Lynettefan2626 is seen in his office, still looking at the pictures ImmaGleek gave him. After a few seconds, he wipes his tears clean and checks himself in the mirror to make sure he doesn't look as though he's been crying. He looks angry. He then calls for his maid, I luv pll, and tells her to call Lady Junky to his office. The maid nods affirmatively, and leaves. After a while, Lady shows up in the office, asking her fiancé what he wants from her, and he tells her he feels as though they've been growing apart for the last few days, especially since she gave him her virginity. Lady is shaken by this comment, and Lynette tells her he wants to bring back the spark into their relationship, and for that to happen, they need to have some alone time, which isn't possible with so many guests running around the house. He suggests that they meet the following night at his cabin on the lake. He can't take her there personally because he has some meetings to attend to at the Community Central. Lady smiles, rather subtly, and tells him she'd like that. "It's a date," Lynette says. Lady leaves. His smile fades.

Back at the hospital, Renaboss is shaken, lying on his hospital bed, confused at the presence of Villain fan and the realization that he is the voice that had been getting in touch with him prior to his arrival on Wiksteria Lane. Vf explains to him what happened: he had left the lane, stepping down as an administrator, due to personal reasons, all the while knowing he was leaving behind a man, Lynettefan, who was bound to destroy the peaceful community the lane had become, thanks to the hard work of DoctorStrange. "The thing is... Lynette and I... we go back. I know him all too well. I know what he is capable of. I've seen it first-hand." Rena asks what he means by this, and Vf tells him, "It's better you don't know." Rena asks if he's responsible for getting him beat up, and Vf says he had nothing to do with that. "I saved you... by pointing you in the right direction. I knew that if you came here you'd be safe. And you would be valuable. I see so much potential in you, young man. You have what it takes. You can take down Lynette, I just know it." Rena is more and more confused. Vf tells him, "Look... I realize that I just blew your mind right now. So I am going to go... and leave you to rest. We can talk some other time. And I'll fill you in on everything you need to know and that I can actually tell you." As he prepares to leave, Rena stops him by saying, "I can't possibly be of much help... In case you haven't noticed, I'm kinda dying here." Vf, without turning back to him, says, "Oh. That. It's not as bad as you think." He leaves. Rena is further confused.

The following morning, Mary is sitting on the front porch of Lynette's template, sucking on a lollipop and skimming through a bridal magazine.

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MaryPierceLopez had always thought of herself as a passionate young woman. Ever since she hit puberty, really. And although she couldn't see herself settling down the way her older sister was doing - perhaps for being too young still -, she did fancy giving into passion regularly, repeatedly, and with no strings attached. Her favorite kind of passion. But lately, she had found herself lonely... and she realized she missed being passionate. Which, in layman's terms, meaned the following: Mary needed to get herself laid.
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Mary closes the magazine, frustrated, and she looks next door to find Jdg98 mowing the lawn, taking care of the template, just like he'd promised Rena. Mary crosses over into his property and comes over to Jdg, saying, "Hey there." Jdg is surprised that she's there. "Hey... you're, um, you're Lady's sister, right?" Mary says "Uh-huh", and Jdg asks her what he can do for her. Mary takes out the lollipop from her mouth and asks how old he is. Jdg says, "13, going on 14." Mary then says, "You're kinda cute. Want me to suck your lollipop?" Jdg is speechless.

Lady Junky is discussing floral arrangements with her wedding planner, QuinnQuinn, and confiding in her the details of her relationship with Lynettefan. Lady tells Quinn that they are having a dinner meeting that night, at the lake cabin, and Quinn says, "Oh, hon, that's so romantic, I wish I had someone to do stuff like that with me. Fucking irony, I get to plan weddings for a living and yet I've never even been married, or really fallen in love." Lady says, "That is thing, I... I feel out of love with him. I mean, is so nice that he is 'intrested' in being... romantic and, how you say? Spontaneous. But... I just..." Quinn finishes her sentence, "You feel like it's too little, too late." Lady says, "Is not just that, I... well..." Quinn says, "Dish already, sweetcheeks." "Lately, I... I like another man." Quinn gasps ("Noooooooooo...."). Lady nods affirmatively, and I luv pll, scrubbing a vase in the background, says, lowly, "Ay, ay, ay... Mi madre siempre decía, las que tienen las perlas son las mayores putas." Lady tells her to shoosh, which she does. Quinn tells Lady that she is positively shocked, and asks who the other man is. Lady is reluctant to tell her. Quinn promises not to tell anyone, but Lady still won't budge. Quinn gives up, and tells Lady, "Look... want my honest advice?" Lady nods affirmatively. Quinn continues: "Suck it the fuck up. Let the other man out of your thoughts. Settle down. Don't throw what you have with Lynette away, because, trust me, honey, whoever the hell the other man is, unless he's another president, he can't give you what Lynette can. You know what I'd do to be able to marry a community ruler?" Lady says she's not marrying Lynette for his power, and Quinn says, "Sure, sure, I know, I know... but still. You don't want to be branded a traitor slut for the rest of your life, do you? Whoever he is... forget him. Now." Lady sighs.

Jdg98 is visiting Renaboss at the hospital, before his first chemotherapy session begins, and Rena tells the young man what happened with Villain fan. Jdg is shocked, and confused, and asks Rena to clarify him on that whole story with him being beaten up before he moved to the lane. Rena says they have time for that later, right now he needs to be prepped up for chemo. Jdg offers to keep him company, but Rena says he doesn't want to impose, so he should just go home and rest, and do some more recapping for the wiki. Jdg says it has indeed been a while since he last helped out around the wiki, losing his streak of days. Rena then asks what else has been going on with him lately, and Jdg, clearly playing coy, says, "Nothing. At all."

ImmaGleek orders I luv pll to mix her a drink. When the maid takes her sweet time to make it, Imma orders her to speed it up, and, in the kitchen, Pll shouts, "Is coming, Madam!" Then she spits in the drink, stirs it and brings it over to Imma, who chugs it all up. Lynettefan comes over to her and says they need to have an important talk. He sits down at the counter by her side, and Pll takes the opportunity to hide behind the closest door and try to eavesdrop. Lynette notices her there nevertheless and asks her to go scrub the toilet upstairs. Pll says, "Qué lastima..." and leaves. Lynette then thanks Imma for opening his eyes. Imma feigns a comprehensive look and tells her boss that it hurt her to be the one breaking his heart, but she felt he was owed the truth. Lynette tells his young secretary he can now see she is the only person around him whom he can actually trust and who actually sets out for his best interest. Imma is proud and content. Lynette, always in a sullen tone, then tells her, "And now... I... I have been thinking about this all night long, ever since I... ever since I saw those, those pictures. I have to... I can't go on living with that woman. And I... I can't just let her go either, Imma. Not scot-free. Not after what she did to me." Imma asks what he means, and Lynette says, "I have to kill her." Imma is shocked. She asks him if he's sure, and Lynette says, "Yes..." Imma asks about Lady's family, what they are going to do with them, and Lynette says, "I, I don't know, I can't be bothered to think about them right now, Imma. I need to... I need to do this, and move on. She has to pay. I have to get this over with right now." Imma asks, "How are we... going to do this?" Lynette explains that Lady is meeting him at the cabin over by the lake that night. He's going to kill her there, after confronting her with the truth. Imma needs to go too and help him clean up the mess, just like she did with KiMO. "And then... I don't know. We can tell everyone she cheated on me, with Renaboss, and I ended things with her and she went back to France, feeling ashamed. We can send her family after her, telling them the wedding's off. No one will ever find her. We'll be okay. And Rena will become a paria, so we kill two birds with one stone." Imma says she's game, and Lynette thanks her, clearly devastated. Imma then asks, as he's about to go, "What about us?" Lynette turns to her, confused. Imma says, "I mean... after this is done... we can finally be together. Right?" Lynette says, "Imma, I... I am forever in debt to you. But... right now... it's just too much for me, and..." Imma stops him, saying, "Say no more. I completely understand." Lynette leaves, silent. Imma can't help but show off a big grin.

Renaboss is already undergoing therapy when Lady Junky shows up, having been let in. No other patient is in the room. Rena is happy to see her, and asks if she's come to keep him company, but Lady, with a sad look on her face, simply tells him "No." Rena's smile disappears, and he asks her what's wrong. Lady says, "I can't... do this no more. It's... too wrong. Too bad." Rena says, "I... I understand, but..." Lady interrupts him: "No, you don't. You're not one who's cheating. I am. I am a bad, bad woman." Rena says, "That's not how it works, Lady. If you are cheating on him, there must be a reason why. Everyone knows you two don't love each other, and that he isn't right for you. We are. We're right for each other. I can't stop thinking about you all day long." Lady gets teary-eyed and asks him not to say stuff like that. "We have to... end this. Before people get hurt. I'm sorry, I... I have to go. We can't see each other no more." Lady turns her back to him and starts walking away, but is stopped when he says, "And now I am hurt." She feels awful, but leaves nonetheless.

MaryPierceLopez tells her father that she wants to have a kick-ass, huge party for all the teens of the community when they move into their new template, but Vf tells her there is no way that is going to happen, because they need to keep a low profile. Mary says, "Oh, yeah, I keep forgetting, we got secrets, right?" Vf isn't liking her tone. Mary goes on to say, "Well, guess what, papa, laying low doesn't cut it for me. So if you want your secrets kept, you better do as I say, because I'm not good at keeping my mouth shut when I'm angry." Villain asks her where she is going with this, to which she replies, "I'm saying... I wants my fucking party. And if I don't get what I wants, I might just have to go around the street, door to door, asking people if they want a heart in a jar, you sick child killer!" Villain slaps her across the face, and Mary is thrown onto the bed by the force of his slap. She looks at him, horrified, and he tells her, "Listen to me, you little bitch... I don't listen to blackmail. I don't work that way. And I don't like being threatened. I like to be obeyed, and respected. So when I say there will be no party..." - he grabs her by the neck - "There will be no goddamn party!" Mary is frightened. He says, "And you better listen to me right the first time, and keep your stupid mouth shut. Because, trust me on this, sweetheart... the child killer can have no problem becoming a teen killer." He drops her and she falls onto the bed, gasping for air. He leaves the room.

Lady Junky arrives to the cabin on the lake, to find it fully decorated, complete with pastel flowers. She is delighted. She enters the cabin and the dining table is all set up, complete with candles and floral arrangements, and a lovely and scrumptious turkey. Lynettefan is waiting for her. He greets her with a kiss and says his meetings ended earlier than he originally assumed. He then pulls the seat back for her, and she compliments him on his chivalry. Lynette says he figured she was owed one enchanted evening. Lady asks why, and he says, "No reason. Just... because you deserve it. Let us eat."

Dr. Sonya is walking around the oncology hall, hoping to bring some papers to some fellow residents, when Renaboss notices him and calls out for him. Sonya enters the room, claiming to have little time, and Rena tells him he just wanted someone to talk to, as he foolishly told his only friend that he didn't need to stick around and keep him company, and Lady refuses to continue to see him, because her fiancé might find out and get jealous. Sonya sympathizes with him, and asks how he's doing. Rena tells him he was actually feeling very well before chemo, and that he now feels horrible, like he's slowly dying. Sonya is deeply affected by this, and Rena notices the look on his face and tells him he doesn't have to worry. "I know the doctor says it's terminal and all, but... the truth is, I feel just fine. I'm alright, ya know? Actually, I haven't started feeling bad till chemo. Ugh, this is awful." Sonya gets up and stops the therapy. Rena asks him what he's doing, and Sonya, incredibly guilt-ridden, kneels down by him and tells him he's not sick, he doesn't have cancer, it's a trick they're playing on him. Rena is shocked and confused, and Sonya tells him that if he went through with chemo he could actually really get sick and die. "It was all fake, the test results, the diagnosis... there was no surgery whatsoever, you were just drugged and left alone in this room, and I... I made a cut on you to make it look like you were operated on." Rena is horrified.

Lady finishes eating her dessert, chocolate soufflé, and she finds Lynette looking at her. She tells him, "You know, for someone who did so much trouble for a beautiful, romantic evening... you are so silent." Lynette says, "I have... just been troubled lately. By... some thoughts." "What thoughts?" He looks at her, eye to eye, and says, "It... took me a long while to realize something. When we... when we got engaged, Lady... I think it was mostly because I... I wanted to have you. Since the first time I saw you." She smiles. He says, "No, don't smile. It's not necessarily a good thing. I didn't... love you. I wanted you, but I didn't love you. I loved the idea of being married to a beautiful woman. It seemed to... help contribute to my status." Lady is disappointed. He says, "But then... having you around... seeing what a lovely woman you are... It took me a long time to realize it, but... I have already fallen in love with you. Not just with the idea of having you. I love you, Lady. And I... I really think we belong together." Lady smiles. "Well... I think... that is nicest thing you ever tell me. And I am glad you are being honest." Lynette says, "Indeed. I figured that... if we were to get married, we should be as honest as we possibly can to one another. So I have to ask you, Lady... why haven't you been honest to me?" She asks him, "What you mean?" He gets up from his seat and approaches her. He then takes the pictures Imma gave him from his pocket and drops them on the table for her to see. Lady is completely caught off-guard. After a moment of silence and tension, Lady turns to him and says, "I can explain...", with tears running down her face. Lynette says, "No... I don't think you can. Because, whereas, yes, I believe I haven't been the best boyfriend I could be to you... I don't think I have ever done anything either to deserve this. You cheated on me. With a man I just so happen to despise. A man that attacked me." Lady says, "I just... the marriage, is so much pressure and..." Lynette says, "Save it." He gets teary-eyed as well. "There is nothing... absolutely nothing you can say that can make this better, Lady. Nothing. You broke... my heart." Lady asks, "Why... why did you do this? Why bring me here, why... all this?" Lynette tells her, with a stern look on his face, "Because I had to teach you a lesson, Lady. A hard one. And I figured you were due one nice evening before it all goes straight to hell for you." Lady is horrified. The door is opened, and ImmaGleek shows up. Lady asks what she is doing there, and Imma says, "I'm here to help clean up the mess", with a smile reminiscent of the one her boss always sports. Lady turns to her fiancé to find him taking out a revolver from his coat's pocket, the gun Jdg once stole, this time complete with silencer. Lady jumps from her seat, and the chair falls to the floor. Imma positions herself behind her boss as he points the gun at Lady, and she starts crying out in terror. Lady, always looking at the gun, trips and falls to the floor, and starts crawling around the table, begging him for forgiveness and crying out for her life. She backs herself into a corner, incidentally, and turns to him, crying and squeaking with horror, as he approaches her, gun in tow, aiming at the woman he loves. She tells him, meekly, "Please... no." He says, "I am so sorry, my love. I have to do this." He disarms the safety of the gun. Then he turns around and shoots straight into Imma's forehead. The young secretary's blood and brains are spattered on the message wall and her cadaver falls to the floor. Lady lets out a scream of pure horror as she witnesses the young woman dying before her very eyes. Lynette sighs and turns on the safety of the gun again, putting it back in his coat's pocket. After a while, Lady, having a hard time even breathing between sobs, crawls in the direction of Imma's body, her eyes still open. She turns to her fiancé and asks why he did this. Lynette explains: "There was no fucking way in hell I would ever leave you. Or let you leave me. I need you. I need this wedding too much. It's gonna do wonders for my career, and to break it off would set off a huge public scandal I wouldn't be able to brush off. And I knew... if I didn't leave you for her... she would turn on me. She knew too much about me. Everything, really. I had to choose... you or her. If I chose to be with you... she would ruin my life. And if I let you go... it would ruin me too." Lynette comes up to them, and Lady trembles with his proximity. He puts his hands over Imma's eyes and closes them, then saying, "Besides... you had to learn. What happened to Imma... it could very easily happen to you too, dear. I have no trouble disposing of people I care about, as you can see. Because in the end, I care about myself a whole lot more. Now I know you're not gonna up and leave me." Lady can't stop crying and squealing in agony. Lynette then whispers in her ear: "When I said we belong together... what that really means is, you belong to me. Never forget that." He gets up and leaves the room. Lady puts herself in fetal position, against the corner of the room, rocking back and forth and crying quietly.

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Passion... it dominates our lives. Becomes the driving force behind most of our actions. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank... Without passion, we'd be truly dead.
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DoctorStrange